How to Make a Million Dollars (in less than 48 hours)

One of the hottest subjects on the Internet and in Google searches is how to make money. Whether searching for ways to beat the stock market or how to start a profitable internet business, people worldwide want to know how to turn their hard-earned cash into millions overnight. Well, this article is for those people, because nobody knows better than I, the joys of being able to earn a living and make money without having any skills, no job, and no creative soul whatsoever. After all, it's the American Way to try to earn money without actually doing anything. This is where welfare moms and CEO's have a lot in common.

So here is a list of ways you can make millions of dollars overnight:

The above chart is meant to represent just about any hot stock. Although my chart takes place over many years, this chart can represent a stock over any time period, from a few days to a few weeks, to more.

The key to making a million dollars in a short span of time is to invest that money in the stock when it's not worth anything and to sell the stock when it's worth a lot. Since most people have a thousand dollars, let's start there. Find a stock that's not worth very much, invest your thousand dollars in it, then wait until it goes up one thousand times, then sell it. You will have a million dollars.

Nigeria is a small African nation located on the west side of the continent. Apparently, the country is full of people with a lot of money who are anxious to transfer it into your bank account if you'll just give them your bank account number, your social security number, and a few other pieces of information. There is apparently some problem in Nigeria that prevents them from transferring their money from one bank to another and they're super nice people who just want to conduct some bank transfers and help out whoever helps them.

If you watch the news, somebody is always winning the lottery, be it the Powerball or some smaller state lottery. There's no reason that person can't be you. Winning the lottery just depends on picking the right series of numbers and then having them show up on those little ping pong balls. Don't let the odds of actually winning dissuade you from playing because your odds of winning are just as good as anybody else's.

Inheriting a million dollars is generally easiest when you're related to a millionaire and they die and leave you a million dollars. Done. However, if you aren't related to a millionaire, I suggest contacting your oldest living relative and encouraging them to play the lottery or open a business or invest in a hot stock so that they can easily make a million dollars and leave it to you in their will. This has a high probability of working because if you're the one who gives them the advice that ultimately leads to them making the million dollars then they're that much more likely to leave it to you.

One other option here is to read the obituaries, attend funerals, and then figure out where wills are being read. If you do a little research, you can generally figure out who has money and who doesn't. Usually, a good sign is an expensive funeral. When you show up to the reading of the will, claim you're a long, lost relative and that you're entitled to some of the inheritance. This is a long shot in terms of making a million dollars, but the odds are actually better than the lottery in many cases, so it's worth a shot, though it does require a bit more work than some of the other options.

So there is your list of ways to make a million dollars in less than 48 hours. Should you succeed in one of these endeavors and make your million dollars, please remember where you got your information and think of me for any anonymous donations. Or leave me something in your will.