Movie Review: Winnie the Pooh

"Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh: chubby little tubby little ball of fluff...."

Oh, doesn't that bring back memories? And I'm not even sure those are the right words. In an America where obesity has become a national epidemic, this is just what we need right now, a cute, overweight bear reminding us that it's okay to eat sugar and generally focus our entire lives on the pursuit of eating sweet stuff. After all, isn't life meant to be lived? Of course it is.

You might think I'm being sarcastic here, but I'm absolutely not. Obviously, if you're morbidly obese, then you should get some help, but Winnie the Pooh is hardly morbidly obese. He's happily obese. And if you're fat and happy, why should you let thin people tell you there's something wrong with you? If Winnie the Pooh was thin and fit, nobody would want to hug him. People wouldn't love him as much. Kids wouldn't have a stuffed Winnie the Pooh in their beds. Isn't it ironic how fat bears are turned into lovable stuffed animals and fat people are just turned away? Sad.

This movie returns to a more traditional look at our hero and, of course it begins with Winnie the Pooh (voice by Jim Cummings) on the hunt for some honey. His tummy is grumbly, you know. He runs into his friend Eeyore (Bud Luckey) who has lost his tale and is very unhappy. Christopher Robin (Jack Boulter) suggest that to solve everyone's problem, they have a contest to find Eeyore a new tale and a pot of honey will be the prize.

A misunderstanding leads to the Pooh gang believing that Christopher Robin has been kidnapped by the evil Backson and adding another element to the hunt.

For those that remember earlier movie versions of Winnie the Pooh, there are interactive elements where the movie reminds the viewer that this is a book after all. This movie has some of that too as the characters interact with the narrator and with things like punctuation. Updating the music is the multi-talented Zooey Deschanel, who you probably know better from films like "Elf" and "500 Days of Summer". I mean, wow, she acts, she sings - is there anything she can't do? So amazing.

I won't give away the ending, but you can rest assured that Winnie the Pooh is not maimed in a helicopter accident. Tigger is not blown up by a land mine. Owl does not fly into a giant fan. Christopher Robin is not kidnapped and held for ransom and Liam Neeson does not kill everyone in sight trying to find Christopher Robin.

No, none of these things happen because this is a wonderful movie for children. It's also not two-and-a-half hours long. In fact, it's just a little over 70-minutes, which is a nice thing for little kids, unless they're ADHD, in which case they're not going to make it much more than a few minutes before they start fidgeting and whining anyway, but at least the filmmakers tried. Bring along some popsicles or something to keep them happy or maybe just drop them in the theater by themselves while you sneak into Harry Potter. Okay, don't do that. That's mean. I'm just saying, go prepared.

Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, awesome little possum of movie stuff, it's Winnie the Pooh!